My husband is his mum’s carer and he’s scared he’ll end up caring for me too
DEAR DEIDRE MY partner is his mum’s carer, which is a huge strain.
Now my health is worse, we are constantly arguing.
We all live together but he recently told me he’s scared I will get like his mum and he will end up as my carer too.
I’m only 39 but I’m plagued by fibromyalgia, which means I’m always in pain.
My partner’s mum has diabetes and heart disease.
She had to have a foot amputated and my partner has been her carer since.
She is demanding, though she doesn’t mean to be.
My partner is struggling to cope.
He feels I don’t do enough to help around the house, but I do as much as I can manage.
He says he loves me but isn’t sure whether to stay with me and gamble on me getting better, or break up now and save the heartache.
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DEIDRE SAYS: Your partner is a kind and caring man but overstretched.
Keep telling him what a hero he is and how much you love him.
He needs to hear that.
Suggest he contacts Carers Direct for a sympathetic ear and support (nhs.uk/carersdirect, 0300 123 1053).
You can find advice through Fibromyalgia Action UK (, 0300 999 3333).