I had magical sex with my ex who I still love but she won’t stop sleeping around

DEAR DEIDRE: A WEEK ago, my ex called. I went round to her place and we had magical sex.

I love her so much and she says she still loves me, but she sleeps around.

3

She is 28, I am 26. We met last year at a local carnival. She is very pretty, bubbly and great fun to be around.

Also, she’s got a boy and a girl, who are smashing kids. Her nine-year-old son was on the float I was helping to organise.

We hit it off straight away and started dating.

She told me she wasn’t any good with relationships and yet for the first six months, we spent all our time together and I moved in with her and the kids.

Then she started going out on her own in the evenings, coming in late and making excuses about where she’d been that never really made sense.

3

I never had a problem with her meeting girlfriends.

But when she admitted she was dating other men, I said we were finished.

We stayed in touch and one weekend before lockdown began she called me late on the Saturday night in tears.

I went to the pub she was at and found her crumpled on the toilet floor. Her drink had been spiked.

I took her home and looked after her all weekend. But as I left on Monday, she was arranging to meet another man that day.

3

So we don’t live together any more but I miss her and the kids so much.

My life is miserable without them, although her behaviour tears me apart.

I can’t resist when she asks me round to have sex but she insists she will have fun with whoever she chooses and it’s my choice if I want her in my life or not.

She can be so sweet and she says she loves me.

But how can you say that to someone and then do the things she does?

I want her back in my life, but I don’t know how to persuade her to change her ways.

DEIDRE SAYS: You may find her hard to resist but breaking the lockdown restrictions was risking her children’s health as well as hers – and yours.

It is likely she isn’t good at having committed relationships because she learned early on in life not to trust anyone.

People who should have been there for her let her down by abandoning her emotionally or literally, or they abused her in some way.

The good time she had with you just did not feel familiar enough for her to trust it.

She will turn to you when the next crisis happens as long as you are willing to be her go-to.

But you are not going to change her.

Is having her back in your life on her terms really going to make you happy?

Why hang in there with a girl who admits she won’t commit?

Perhaps fighting to feel loved is familiar to you, too?

NEXT IN TODAY'S DEAR DEIDRE My husband has ended his affair after six months but I don't think I can forget his dirty secret

READ DEIDRE'S CLASSIC PHOTO CASEBOOK Michelle asks Danny to babysit again so she can hook up with Eddie