I’m having a hot affair with my married ex but since lockdown I’m feeling guilty
DEAR DEIDRE: TEN years since we split, my ex asked me to show her what was in my shorts.
That was enough for me. I’m a red-blooded guy and I’m in love with a woman who I was with from the age of 17 to 20.
I’m 31 now and single, while she is 30 and married with two boys.
I got a message from her around six months ago. I was drunk and not had a girlfriend for some time, so I was very flirty with her.
She told me her man was working away. We were later invited to the same house party and I was nervous about seeing her.
But we chatted all evening until my lift said he was going home, so I said goodbye. I gave her a hug and she sighed loudly in my ear as we held each other.
My mate told me: “I think she fancies you.”
I played it down but she texted me as I was going home, saying she’d call and see me when she was visiting her mum, who lives near to me.
Less than a week later, she was standing on my doorstep.
It had been warm, and she was in shorts and a skimpy vest top. She stood there checking me out.
MORE than 80 per cent of women here experience sexual problems three months after giving birth – and nearly two-thirds at six months.
Childbirth is the most common trigger for sex issues in relationships but there is plenty of self-help to try and expert help is available too.
My e-leaflet Sex Problems After Childbirth explains.
Email the address below or private-message me on my Dear Deidre Facebook page.
I invited her in and said: “You look great. I like your outfit.”
She replied by asking me what I was hiding in my shorts.
She giggled and grabbed me, then gave me oral sex.
When we kissed, she bit my tongue in a way that always drove me wild.
We had the best sex ever — then started meeting up for sex regularly until the coronavirus shutdown.
Now we just keep messaging each other. I’ve told her I regret ending it all those years ago.
She no longer has sex with her husband and says she can’t wait to do it with me again.
I love her but my head tells me this is wrong.
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DEIDRE SAYS:It is wrong. She is married and risks ruining her sons’ happiness. They are innocent in all this. Do you want to be part of that?
Even if she doesn’t get rumbled, you still might get hurt.
Are you sure she hasn’t cheated like this before with other men? Are you convinced she is not having sex with her husband?
Tell her the enforced separation is a positive in that it gives her time to decide the right course for the future – and that you are going to stop contact for now, even messages.
If she decides her marriage is so hopeless she must end it, even at risk of making her sons unhappy, then you can think of restarting your prior relationship.
But only if you are up for family life with two little boys – quite probably troubled.