REALITY star Joey Essex believes he may have stopped learning when his tragic
mother committed suicide.
The Towie and I’m A Celebrity favourite, 23, was just ten when mum Tina hanged
herself while suffering from depression.
And the self-confessed “mummy’s boy” believes his overwhelming grief could
have led to his lack of general knowledge.
In his new book, Being Reem, he says: “Some people reckoned I stopped
learning because of what happened to my mum. Almost like I froze in time.
“I don’t know about that but I do remember it hitting me really hard.”
Joey, who was diagnosed with dyslexia as a youngster, is upfront about his
problems with learning.
He has admitted he can not tell the time — even though he owns a £70,000
Rolex.
He once famously asked if Australia was a country and thought Wales shared a
border with Russia.
The star is just as forthright about his love for his mum. He says: “I was a
proper mummy’s boy when I was growing up. I’d follow her about everywhere
and snuggle up to her at night on the sofa.”
But while Joey insists his mum “would do anything” for him and his older
sister Frankie, he adds: “Deep down she was ill and unhappy.
“I was always confused about what was wrong with my mum. She was often in
hospital and I never understood why.”
Joey says his dad Donald tried everything to help Tina.
He writes: “He’d take her to nice places and buy her expensive clothes just to
cheer her up. Once he bought her a huge great fur coat that was worth
bundles. Dad was constantly trying to make her happy. But she just wasn’t.”
The star vividly recalls how Donald broke the shattering news of Tina’s death
to Joey and Frankie, who was just 13.
He says: “He was bending down on his knees, crying ‘Mummy’s died’. I remember
running through the house and putting my head into a pillow. I was screaming
and Frankie shouted, ‘What’s happened?’ and she started crying. Everyone was
crying.”
Donald hid the details of Tina’s death from his kids.Joey reveals: “We didn’t
know Mum had committed suicide for about two years.
“Dad didn’t tell us how it happened to start with, he just said she fell over
in an accident.
“I guess he was trying to protect us and I don’t think he wanted to deal with
it himself.
“I was convinced she was staying in a hotel and was coming back. As I started
getting older I began to get p****d off.
“I’d constantly say to Dad, ‘Can you please find out where Mummy’s gone or how
she’s died?’”
He finally learned the truth when a schoolgirl cruelly blurted it out to his
sister. He says: “She went over to her and said, ‘I know how your mum died,
she hanged herself.’ Frankie ran home and confronted my dad and in the end
he sat us down — his arms round us — on the sofa, and told us the truth.”
Joey adds: “Someone told me committing suicide is a selfish thing to do
because you’re hurting other people.But how can you say that? You don’t know
what the person is going through. To commit suicide you’ve got to be in
another level of pain.”
Joey still struggles with his own pain. He admits: “I don’t usually like
talking about my mum because whenever I do it makes me cry. Blocking it off
just seems easier.”
Yesterday The Sun told how Joey’s first love was a girl called Sydney Beales.
But he was so desperate to find a mother figure, he also had a crush on her
mum.
He admits: “It wasn’t just Sydney I fell in love with. I fell for her mum Dawn
too. Growing up without a mum meant there was a gaping hole in my life, so
when I met Sydney’s mum I wanted her to mother me. I was desperate for her
affection.
“I’m still the same when I meet a girl I like now. Mums are so important to
me.”
© Joey Essex 2014. Being Reem by Joey Essex is published by
Hodder on May 22, at £16.99. To buy it for £13.99 (with free P&P)
call 0845 271 2136 or visit .