EVERY star is worried about who is coming up behind to steal their crown.
So it is with the metrosexual — the image-conscious, mirror-gazing male who
has reigned supreme for the past decade or so.
It is 20 years since I first wrote about his prettiness, predicting that the
future of masculinity was moisturised.
No one believed me at the time. But now men’s spending on beauty products is
fast catching up with women’s.
Men already reportedly outspend them on hairdryers and shoes.
No longer a niche lifestyle, HSBC recently proclaimed the metrosexual
“completely mainstream”. But 20 years is also a generation, and there is a
new breed of young men that take the metrosexual revolution in masculine
aesthetics for granted and want more, much more.
And they can sometimes scare the bejesus out of the first generation of
metrosexuals. Meet the “spornosexual”.
Steeped from an early age in images of male desirability, and armed with gym
membership, a subscription to Men’s Health, a smartphone and a Facebook
account, the spornosexual has hyped the “sexual” part of metrosexuality and
gone totally tarty.
The spornosexual has sexed-up the male body and turbo-charged the male desire
to be desired, to be “hot”.
Their bodies, rather than clobber and cosmetics, have become the ultimate
accessory, fashioning them at the gym, the tattoo parlour and the tanning
salon into a hot commodity that they then kindly share online.
Buffed, ripped, inked, waxed, they have objectified themselves.
A spornosexual is the walking, flexing, flirting embodiment of those
spornographic ads of a few years back that featured sportsmen such as
Beckham and Ronaldo, oiled up and in their pants, pouting on the side of
buses.
Unlike Becks, however, whose endowments may have been enhanced, the
spornosexual has Photoshopped himself in real life — with eye-popping
results. Not least because he doesn’t appear to wear very much.
Favouring skimpy, condom-tight T-shirts with plunging necklines, the
spornosexual desires to be desired for his highly crafted body with its
hypnotic, muscle-enhancing tatts rather than designer labels.
They themselves are the “product”. Which they are constantly selling. And most
of us are buying.
It is alarmingly clear that men’s bodies are no longer simply instrumental
things for fighting wars, extracting coal, building ships or scoring goals,
as they were for much of the 20th Century. In the 21st Century the male body
has been redesigned as a sensual sex toy to give and receive pleasure.
And to flaunt while getting “mortalled” as they say in Geordie Shore.
It is appropriate, given his delicious artificiality, that so many of the
celebrity spornosexuals star in “constructed reality” TV shows. Towie’s Dan
Osborne is the pre-eminent example of spornosexuality, with a body that
isn’t simply buff, but impossibly sexy.
Former Towie star Mark Wright has pumped and sculpted himself into more than
just a cheeky bleached grin.
Pretty Joey Essex is more at the “twinky” end of the spornosexual spectrum,
along with Olympic diver Tom Daley. Former TV Gladiator David McIntosh is at
the hardcore end.
If the pumped, preened spornosexual sometimes looks like a male Barbarella,
that is probably because he is.
You could almost imagine Dr Frank N Furter from The Rocky Horror Show cooking
up the spornosexual on the slab in his lab. Though he probably wouldn’t have
given him those tattoos.
On the left we hear from three of the new breed of man.
I spend hours just looking at myself
STUDENT Matt is single and lives in Preston. He says:
“When I post a selfie on Instagram or Twitter I feel really good about myself.
“I get so many positive comments, such as ‘lookin’ ripped’ – and girls seem to
be fascinated by my thighs.
“I was a skinny kid and since I’ve been bulking up in the gym I feel so much
more confident. I do get rather obsessed and spend hours looking at myself
and taking pictures, which I then post on social media.
“I compare myself with the photos other guys post – there is a real muscle
selfie community and these photos fuel that obsession. If you see someone
more ripped you train harder.
“I spend up to three hours a day in the gym. This term ‘spornosexual’ sounds
ridiculous. I don’t think what we do is linked to hyper-sexuality or a
fetish. It’s about getting your body into the best physical shape.
“Yes, guys will idolise men like David Beckham and Cristiano Ronaldo – not
because of their oiled torsos but because they are the best at what they do.
“Posting selfies after workouts is a way of networking. It can only be a good
thing to get more guys into fitness.
“I’m desperate to get even bigger – and get more online attention.”
It feels really great to post a sweaty selfie
FITNESS instructor Lou has a girlfriend, Beth, and lives in Rhyll, North
Wales. He says:
“I got into bodybuilding after a relationship ended when I was 16.
“I’d been skinny and small until then. And as my shape changed, I thought,
‘Cool’.
“There’s no doubt young men are more body-obsessed than ever. In my job I’ve
seen a huge change in the past year alone.
“I take selfies at least every two weeks to chart the progress of my body and
I do enjoy all the comments they attract on social media. Posting selfies
drives you even harder in the gym.
“The whole male body-obsession craze has just exploded among men of my age.
It’s an alpha male thing, you want other guys to be jealous of how little
body fat you have.
“It does become an obsession. I think about my fitness and how I look all the
time. I go to the gym four times a week.
“After a hard workout it feels great to take a sweaty selfie, post it and wait
for the comments to roll in.
“Steroid use is a real issue in gyms. I don’t use them but a lot of young men
do. You have to be careful what you take to fuel your obsession.”
Addictive craze gives me a buzz
JIMMY, a lance corporal in the Army, is single and lives in Tidworth,
Wilts. He says:
“My craze with muscle selfies began two years ago, after I got back from
Afghanistan.
“As I started to bulk up I was so proud of my body I wanted to take pictures.
“It feels so good to have a massive workout then take a selfie that shows off
your body. The craze is a competitive male thing, we all want to look more
ripped than the next guy.
“There’s a big online community. I follow guys on an Instagram group called
Body Power.
“I work out for at least an hour a day and have one rest day a week. It makes
me feel great.
“Posting a selfie is like giving yourself a pat on the back for a tough
workout. It gives me such a buzz and it’s completely addictive.”
Interviews by LYNSEY HOPE
And they might wear a Towie banana sling
THE mankini is so last season – these days buffed blokes do their sunbathing
in “banana sling” thongs.
Towie’s Bobby Norris and Harry Derbidge showed off the JQK “single side
thongs” in Marbella.
No one batted an eyelid in Spain, but how would this barely-there beachwear go
down in Blighty?
Sun man JOEL FOX went to Brighton to find out…
Sunbather Sarah Moreno joked: “I love them! He is definitely pulling them off.”
But gym worker Anthony Knight said: “They are absolutely disgusting.”
And tourist Tatiana Kanchig said: “It’s not something I’d want my boyfriend to
wear. It’s not a good look.”
Joel reckoned: “It was refreshing wearing so little and the attention was
nice. But I’m not sure the lads would let me get away with it on the next
trip to Ibiza.
“It’s back to the board shorts for me.”
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