CORRIE star Shobna Gulati today reveals how she had to quit the soap — because
fame left her with crippling bouts of depression.
Shobna, 46, found TV stardom so tough to handle that she would lock herself
indoors with the curtains drawn for up to a week.
The anxiety attacks were made worse by race abuse from internet trolls — and
by being so SKINT despite her job that she struggled to pay household
bills.
The actress, who needed TWO counsellors to cope, even hinted that she
thought of ending it all.
She admitted: “When you’re in a dark place, there only appears to be one
way out.
“You try not to consider that. I’ve always tried not to reach that low.
“But when a bout of depression hit me I could lock myself away for a week. I
lived like a hermit.”
Shobna announced in November that she was quitting as shopgirl Sunita Alahan,
claiming it was to “focus on other projects”.
But in a heartbreakingly frank interview, she told The Sun how seeing her
character killed off this month will lift a huge weight from her shoulders.
Having filmed her final scenes, Shobna said: “I now feel free.”
She said her fame often felt like a “living hell” and added: “Corrie fame made
me a recluse.
“When I handed in my resignation I knew it was the right thing.
“I hope now I won’t feel like I’m living in a goldfish bowl and the stress in
my life will be reduced.
“There are a lot of things about the Street I loved, but there are many
things I won’t miss.
“The pressure got too much. I’m pleased just to be Shobna again.”
The mum of one joined Corrie in 2001 and soon become one of its most popular
stars.
But racist jibes and cruel comments about her looks often left her in tears.
She said: “I was generally happy within Coronation Street, but it was people
outside the confines of the set that brought me down.
“People felt it was OK to come up to me and say anything. They would say
things without thinking, such as how tired I looked or how fat and ugly I
looked on TV.
“I’d get racial abuse on networking sites. I’ve had, ‘I hate that P***’ on
Twitter and people saying I look like a duck because I have big lips.
“I’ve cried many times about the way people have reacted to me.
“I know I shouldn’t take it personally and should concentrate on the good
stuff, but that’s difficult.”
The star quit the Street for three years in 2006 to care for son Akshay, now
18.
But even after returning she was plagued by money woes because her salary was
determined by how many episodes she appeared in.
She said: “When you’re not on screen it can be tight, really tough, worrying.
When you don’t have a big storyline and don’t appear often it’s a struggle
managing cashflow.
“I’ve been totally skint and struggled to pay the bills. From the end of July
last year to the start of January I had about five episodes.
“I would use my credit card to simply get by. I’d check every single price in
the supermarket.
“I changed my car for a cheaper version. I didn’t have luxuries such as
getting my nails done.
“I panicked and cried out of frustration when bills arrived.
“People think we’re on huge salaries, but it can be an average wage. You would
feel odd when you were not working. It should be a time to relax, but I
would worry about money and feel insecure.
“From week to week you would get the scripts, not knowing beforehand if you
were in an episode or not.
“Imagine not knowing if you’re working from one day to the next, when the
outside world thinks you’re this megarich soap star.
“It doesn’t work like that. Obviously that got to me too.”
The pressure saw the star plagued by spells of depression as often as once a
month — an ailment she first battled as a teenager but thought she had under
control.
At her lowest ebb, she would shut herself away for days at her home on the
outskirts of Manchester.
She confessed: “All I wanted to do was be myself within those four walls. I
could lock myself away for a week if I wasn’t in work.
“For the first two days I’d sit in my onesie and for the next few days I’d
battle to try to stop feeling down. I had to be on my own without anybody
else suffering the consequences.
“Sometimes I felt like a prisoner. I didn’t want to face the outside world and
the public pressure.
“I’d call my mum and she would tell me the things I needed to hear, put things
in perspective.”
The tormented actress would also break down in tears on the Corrie set — with
show pals helping her through her darkest moments. She said: “We would work
12-hour days and it was such a close environment that sometimes I’d struggle
to hide it.
“But you can’t really take time off when you’re having a low period because
you’re letting people down.
“When I felt like that I would hate to look in the mirror — but the first
place you would go is make-up.
“I’d cry to the make-up girls, who were lovely to me.
“I’d get angry with myself for being like that. But my close friends on the
show would help me through it.”
The star revealed her depression remained a “constant battle” that she tried
to control with meditation, yoga and counselling.
She also struggled to cope with intrusive fans. She admitted: “I’m very shy,
so the attention made it much worse. They didn’t realise I was Shobna, not
Sunita.
“Every day, when I was outside, somebody wanted a photo, somebody wanted a
part of me.
“A regular job’s difficult to hold down when you have depression, but Corrie
is a different beast.
“People seem to think that because you’re on such a big TV programme they have
the right to say whatever they want to you.
“It’s too much sometimes. You can’t go anywhere without getting recognised.
People stare or talk about me and seem to presume I’m blind and deaf.
Recently, I was buying oranges in a supermarket and a man came up to me and
said that he had seen me on The Thin Blue Line — which I have never been in.
“I said I hadn’t, but he just wouldn’t listen to me.
“He was arguing with me as if I didn’t know which show I had worked on. It
upset me.
“The other day people on a tram were chanting ‘Sunita!’ at me. I’m sure they
didn’t mean any harm but I was scared and intimidated.
“And just last month I got moved to first class on a train by the inspector
because I was asleep and drooling.
“He woke me up, said someone was videoing me and suggested that I moved. I was
very grateful to him. I chose to be an actor but I didn’t choose to give up
being a human being.”
It’s clear she is relishing the prospect of being away from the limelight
after Corrie.
She added: “I’m looking forward to eating in a restaurant without looking over
my shoulder.
“I had an eating disorder when I was younger and although that is managed, I
still have issues with food. Yet I used to like restaurants until I became
famous.
“But people have actually come over and put my cutlery down for me so
they can take a picture.
“They always start, ‘I know this is rude, but…’ or ‘I bet you get this all
the time, but can I have a photo?’ Or you can hear them whispering loudly
about me, secretly taking a picture.
“That’s a living hell, especially when I’m with friends and family and have
spinach in my teeth.”
Later this month viewers will see Sunita — divorced from shop boss hubby Dev —
die as love-rat ex Karl Munro torches the Rovers Return.
The crazed taxi driver is determined to punish the mum of two after blaming
her for the break-up of his relationship with pub landlady Stella Price.
One of Shobna’s first roles after the soap will see her become a panellist on
ITV’s Loose Women, where regulars include former Street favourites Denise
Welch, Sherrie Hewson and Sally Lindsay.
Shobna said: “I’m delighted to be joining the Loose Women team. It’s a show I
have watched and loved for years.”
She also plans to carry on acting and said: “It’s the only job I know and the
only way I know to provide for my son.
“I’d like to experience a variety of characters now. Corrie was a comfort
blanket for a long time in many ways.
“It was regular work in my home town, but time has gone by so quickly. I have
always wanted to do other things.”
Despite her years on the Street, she will watch the dramatic scenes of
Sunita’s death with relief.
She said: “Sunita has been an interesting character to play. She has been
in a lot of cracking stories and she has lasted.
“But I don’t think I could ever be tempted back to Corrie. Soaps chew you up
and spit you out.
“Knowing Sunita’s been killed off is a weight off my shoulders. I can now
truly put her to bed for ever.”
TOMORROW: MY SECRET HEARTACHE