JOEY Essex’s father yesterday told how he loves his son to bits — but also
laughingly admits the jungle favourite is “bloody useless” and lives on
another planet.
Dad Donald also revealed more hilarious examples of the Towie star’s daft
antics to prove it.
He recalled Joey lasting just three months in a job he got him at his own
workplace, Billingsgate Fish Market in East London.
A pal rang Donald and said: “I’m sorry but I’ve got to let him go — he’s
useless.”
Laughing at the memory, Joey’s dad said: “What could I say? I had to agree —
Joey is bloody useless. I call it living on ‘Planet Joey’.”
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Just before his sacking, Joey suffered what appeared to be a bizarre workplace
injury.
Forming his lips into a ‘trout pout’, Donald revealed: “He came in with his
lips like this, all swelled up and red. Then he says he hurt them going in
the cold storage.
“But I found out later he’d actually burnt them on a sunbed.
“He didn’t like the smell of fish but the last straw was when he refused to go
in the cold storage — because it was too cold.”
Donald, 54, added: “He did no better at his next job which was in the City in
the futures market. He was a runner to start with, getting cups of tea and
coffee for everyone.
“But he couldn’t even get that right. If someone ordered a black coffee, he’d
get them tea with two sugars.
“Honestly, all those ‘Joeyisms’ he comes out with on I’m a Celebrity, that’s
him. He’s not putting it on at all. He’s always getting his words wrong like
‘confrontate’.
“Even I’ve been gobsmacked. I mean, I didn’t know he couldn’t tell the time
and as for not knowing how to blow your nose, I’m embarrassed to be honest.
Joey’s a one-off. You won’t find another like him, believe me.
“When he had his 21st here, he put up a gazebo in the garden. But the wind got
up and I realised that instead of fixing the ropes to anything solid, he’d
tied them to things that flew off here, there and everywhere.”
Donald was talking at the family home in Chigwell, Essex, which was recently
done up by a designer who works on Towie. He confessed that before the
reality show came along he was worried what would become of Joey, 23.
He said: “When he first told me about Towie I was a bit worried. Now I think
it’s brilliant. When he told me he was doing I’m a Celebrity I was
surprised. He hates bugs. The other day a wasp came in and he smashed up the
kitchen trying to get rid of it.”
Donald admitted Joey sometimes drives him mad, but added quickly: “I love him
to death. He doesn’t realise he’s funny, he won’t have a clue what they are
all laughing at.”
Donald was gutted when his son split from ex Sam Faiers, but would love to see
him find happiness with I’m a Celeb campmate Amy Willerton.
He raised Joey and his sister Frankie, 26, — also in Towie — alone from when
they were young after his wife Tina killed herself aged 38.
Donald said: “When she did what she did I just didn’t know how I could tell
the kids. It was terrible for them, they were babies. I sat them on this
sofa, with my arms round each one and told them the truth.” On one wall of
the lounge is a big photo of Donald with Frankie and Joey at a wedding.
The father revealed: “He was best man but he didn’t go to the stag do because
he didn’t realise he had to. How daft is that?”
Donald has now flown to Australia with girlfriend of four years Sasha Joyce,
who works in Joey’s boutique, to wait for him to come out. But he said: “I
think I’ve got a long wait, I can’t see him losing.”
Earlier this year, Joey moved into a flat near his old home.
Donald added: “He’s doing Christmas there, having all the family round.
“But seeing as he can’t even do the washing up I don’t know how he thinks he
can cook a turkey. But I hope he invites Amy. Steam in there son!”