WHETHER shopping, socialising or shooting zombies, the cry is always the same
– there’s an app for that.
In just two and a half years, TEN BILLION applications have been downloaded
from Apple’s App Store as iPhone, iPod Touch and iPad users cram their
devices with useful – and utterly useless – programs.
The popularity of apps – downloaded software that can be used for everything
from playing games to online grocery shopping – looks set to soar still
further. It is only a year since Apple CEO Steve Jobs gave the world its
first glimpse of the iPad and it has now clocked up seven million sales
worldwide.
But can man live by app alone – and remain truly appy?
To find out, I was locked in a warehouse for four days with only my pyjamas
and an iPad.
Facts
Paper Glider was the ten billionth app downloaded, by a woman in Kent.
The average iPhone owner has downloaded 88 apps from the App Store but 26 per
cent of those are only ever used once.
The App Store launched in July 2008, with 800 apps.
Ten million downloads were made over the first weekend.
Angry Birds is the most downloaded app of all time.
The highest grossing app is the TomTom satnav software for iPhone.
The most downloaded free app is Facebook.
The most downloaded iPad apps are Slice It!(paid) and iBooks (free).
Day one
WITHIN an hour of arriving at work I find myself sitting in a cold warehouse
wearing a pair of pyjamas and a dressing gown.
There are 266 apps downloaded every SECOND from Apple’s App Store and I have
been challenged to live entirely through apps by building my own bachelor
(i)pad.
I have just my iPad and a £1,500 budget to get me through the week.
First, as I’m sure that other great adventurer Robinson Crusoe must have
thought… shelter.
I download the B&Q app and soon after my flatpack shed arrives.
Thankfully, it’s fairly easy to build.
A courier booked through the Addison Lee taxi app then brings me the air bed,
heater and barbecue I had pre-ordered from Argos.
Clothes come via the Next app. I’m feeling much smarter — and warmer — in
jeans, T-shirt and a jacket.
As afternoon turns to evening I order a pizza from Domino’s and look forward
to a grocery delivery from online supermarket Ocado.
My final delivery of the day is an eBook reader from Waterstones and I choose
Zero Hour by Sun security expert and SAS hero Andy McNab — he knows a bit
about survival.
After a blast on the ludicrously popular Angry Birds game, I decide to hit the
sack. With no bedside light I use the Nightstand app, which also doubles as
an alarm clock.
Not that I need it. In the early hours I hear a blood-curdling scream. Shining
my iPad out into the cavernous warehouse I spot the culprit — a three-legged
fox.
A quick check on the Wikipanion app reveals it shouldn’t bite… but it keeps
me awake by prowling around.
Whose idea was this?
Day two
I CAN’T get back to sleep after last night’s eerie encounter.
At 5am I head to my “chill-out zone” — so called due to a lack of heat — and
load up the Brushes art app.
Legendary British artist David Hockney is a big fan and he would have been
proud of my self-portrait. Or not.
Continuing the creative vibe, I try my hand at BeatMaker, an app which
promises to turn even the most tone-deaf into musical marvels… except for
me, apparently.
Ah well, with 350,000 apps to choose from there must be something else I can
try — 160million iPad, iPhone and iPod Touch users can’t all be playing
Angry Birds.
I return to what I’m most comfortable with — writing. I create a blog through
the WordPress app and advertise it through Facebook and Twitter — yep, they
have apps too.
I quickly grow tired of the incessant social networking updates and decide
some exercise is in order — particularly after that pizza yesterday!
I try the Yoga Free app — unsuccessfully — and have a bounce on the trampette
I ordered from Amazon.
After all that, I settle down to read The Sun via the app.
For dinner I turn to the app from Hungryhouse.co.uk — local takeaway menus all
in one place with food delivered direct to your door. Or in my case,
warehouse loading bay…
Day three
I WAKE up to bumper deliveries from Amazon and Next — TV, PS3 cushions, poker
table, pool table, football and a goal.
Now my bachelor pad is really taking shape. I set it all up but quickly
realise I need some company to make the most of the fun and games at my
disposal. Playing football without a goalkeeper to fetch my wayward shots
soon grows tiresome.
Even the Phil Neville Football Training app is no help. Why am I not surprised?
To conjure some company other than the fox I download Talking Tom Cat, an app
that repeats what I say through a cartoon cat. I may be losing my mind.
I find another feline friend through Touch Pets Cats, which gives me a virtual
moggie to feed and play with — but I soon get bored of pandering to the
needs of an imaginary animal.
I pass some more time watching some telly through the Sky Mobile TV app — but
I really need some human interaction.
I decide to invite some friends down for a lads’ night in. I order in a
banquet and some alcohol, again from the brilliant Hungryhouse app.
I put Spotify on — the free music app — and we sit around the poker table with
a few beers. It’s a top night and I decide to put off clearing up until the
morning.
Day four
AN almighty mess greets me in the morning. Feeling lazy, I look up cleaners on
the Yell.com app, but none can come immediately.
With a visit from my boss imminent, I tidy away some of the carnage and change
into the smart clobber I have ordered in using the apps from Very.co.uk,
River Island and Debenhams. To complete the look I turn to the How To Tie A
Tie app.
Inspection over, I use the Moonpig app to send my Dad a birthday card with
next day delivery. He’ll never know I’d forgotten… unless he reads this!
Looking around, I feel a great sense of satisfaction. In less than a week I
have created the ultimate bachelor pad.
In all, the experiment cost an under-budget £1,300 — not bad for building an
entire life from scratch.
My experiment shows there is very little you can’t do through an iPad these
days.
The biggest issue is the number of retailers that don’t offer delivery through
apps. This will surely improve, though.
To celebrate, I book a room at the Premier Inn, through their newly-launched
app of course — and leave my warehouse at the mercy of the three-legged fox.