IT’S minutes before Ellie Goulding kicks off her biggest tour on home soil and
she should be bouncing around the dressing room – not fighting back tears.
But on top of the pressure of 7,500 expectant fans waiting only yards away,
the 29-year-old pop sensation is nursing a freshly broken heart.
She
has just split from McFly bassist Dougie Poynter, the man she regularly
referred to as “The One” after two years together.
And in a shock admission, Ellie has revealed exclusively to The Sun she will
be QUITTING the music industry next year to get over the heartache.
In a defiantly raw and honest interview, she said: “People think I’m
invincible but these past few weeks have been tough.
“When you’re in the public eye, it seems like you’re able to deal with stuff
better than anyone else, which is not remotely true.
“I’m not in a relationship any more and that’s been hard.
“Having a break will be a good thing for me and my head.”
Last year Ellie said she and Dougie had discussed having children and the pair
both openly hinted that wedding bells could be on the horizon.
But things fizzled out due to their hectic work schedules and his desire to
crack America as an actor.
Sipping champagne and speaking backstage in her dressing room at the
Motorpoint Arena in Cardiff — her only rider demands a kettle and scented
candle — she said: “Dougie is one of the most special people in the world
and I’m so happy for him.
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“He’s doing well in LA and he’s still one of my best friends. I know he feels
the same.
“But I think for me and anybody else going through the same thing, it’s really
important to get to know yourself, be happy with your own company and like
yourself.
“The only way I can do that is by spending time with myself.
“The last couple of weeks have been quite strange and quite different for me
because I’ve been by myself so much, but I think it’s healthy to do.”
Ellie admits she is happy for the distraction of her Delirium world tour,
which began in Hamburg, Germany, two months ago and culminates in Perth,
Australia, in seven months.
She said: “Everyone knows that breaking up with someone is a really terrible
thing.
“It’s hard, complicated and it’s never going to be easy.
“I can’t think of any of my friends or family who have been through a break-up
and actually thought, ‘That was all right’.
“I am just grateful I am in a time in my life when I’m completely preoccupied
with the tour and seeing my fans every night.
“If I wasn’t on tour it would have been a great deal harder. I would be by
myself, overthinking and wallowing. I have been trying to take my mind off
it by watching things and reading. It’s the only thing I can do.”
While Ellie has been constantly travelling across Europe, she has been forced
to deal with the split without the support of her loved ones.
And the expectation to be upbeat for her promotional duties has been another
pressure. All the motorway travel, planes and the hotel rooms seem to have
worn the singer out.
She said: “Jet lag’s a real thing. It’s not like tiredness.
“You can feel really down, especially being a woman as well. It can really
mess with you.
“It’s the hardest thing about my job — the tiredness. If I don’t get enough
sleep, I eat. I eat like crazy — comfort eating.
“Boxing is my thing but I can’t always exercise.
“I’ve been in situations before where I have been running and people have been
following me — I get stalked.
“It balances me out but sometimes I am so exhausted that I just go straight to
bed.
“I take boxes of English breakfast tea on tour with me, and candles. I always
request a kettle in every room I stay in. It’s not particularly diva-ish.”
Once her current tour finishes she will quit music for at least a year.
Ellie said: “I’m not writing new stuff. I’m not sure when I’ll release a new
album. It might not even be next year. I need time off for my own head.
“My plan is to have a month off in August and do more of my charity stuff and
then next year I need to live a bit. Who knows? My situation has changed.”
Ellie is not the only British star to take an extended hiatus from music after
the pressure of the industry became too much. Ed Sheeran told last year how
he wanted to take nine months off to “get back to normality” and
Oscar-winner Sam Smith said he wanted a break to live his life and “be a
23-year-old”.
Talking about her fellow artists’ breaks, Ellie said: “They realised that
touring had become their life.
“I can’t speak for them but touring has become my default.
“I’ve toured seven years non-stop. If you do too much of something, it can
turn into something you feel like you have to do and it’s not as enjoyable
as it could be.
“I don’t really have that much of a social life because of what I do. You tend
to meet people just in this world.
“It seems like I’ve had relationships with people who are in the public eye
but I don’t see it that way.”
Dougie is not the only man playing on Ellie’s mind.
She studied English and drama at the University of Kent but quit in her final
year after signing a record deal with Polydor in 2009, aged 22.
Her Brits Critics’ Choice win six years ago was followed by huge chart success
after her cover version of Elton John’s Your Song was used in a John Lewis
Christmas TV advert.
She was asked by Prince William and Kate to perform the track at Buckingham
Palace for the first dance at their 2011 wedding reception.
She has gone on to sell 27million singles across the world, produced three
acclaimed albums and even sung for US President Barack Obama and his family
at the White House.
But her personal life has not been as successful as her music career.
Dating and breaking up with Radio 1 DJ Greg James provided material for her
second multi-platinum selling album Halcyon, released in 2012.
Ellie then had a six-month fling with DJ and producer Skrillex when they were
working together in LA.
Dates with One Direction’s Niall Horan, Ed Sheeran and War Horse star Jeremy
Irvine all failed.
Now friends and the legion of fans will be hoping Ellie can pick herself up
after her latest split and get back on stage and into the studio.
They hope she will continue what is undoubtedly a brilliant career.
As for the star herself, she said: “I’d like to travel and meet people, not
just in the music industry, and expand.
“I like the idea of not really knowing what’s going to happen.
“If people forget about me, they do. I’ll just come back at some point.”