DANNIELLA Westbrook has told how she is filled with self-loathing after having
a seedy fling with the drug dealer who gave her cocaine in Spain.
The actress said: “I have cheapened myself and I’ve cheapened who I am, but
that’s a direct example of what alcohol and drugs do.
“You do everything you wouldn’t normally do unless you’d been taking drugs and
drinking.”
The drug dealer supplied her with cocaine when she was in Spain in April.
Danniella met up with him again in Magaluf earlier this week after she split
with fiancé Tom Richards.
She admitted she fell for the dealer’s charms — but ended up feeling stupid
and used when he left her to fend for herself in the holiday resort and she
had to sleep on a beach.
She told The Sun on Sunday: “He was good looking, he was handsome, he was
funny. He knew exactly what he was doing. We spoke a lot. He could charm the
birds out of the trees.
“For a second I actually thought he liked me. Silly old woman.
“I was having a bad time with Tom and was questioning that relationship — what
it should be and everything.
“This guy was telling me it wasn’t a relationship I should be in.
“I’d been speaking to this guy on and off for a while and then I saw him in
Spain.
“I slept with somebody I shouldn’t have slept with and shouldn’t have had a
relationship with. I just feel stupid and a fool. I’ve left a lot of stuff
out there. He has my phone, loads of my clothes and make-up.
“He left me down in Magaluf and I had to sleep on the beach by myself. I flew
back the next morning to the UK.
“I have spoken to Tom about it and he knows. Tom knew I was going out to Spain
to see the guy.”
Danniella insisted her fling had little to do with sex.
The former EastEnder — who last year revealed she was gang-raped in 1994 —
said: “I have never really enjoyed sex since the rape, so that was never a
big issue for me.
“Even in marriage I had issues with that, but could never tell anyone. It
never made me feel great. Didn’t put me up or down. That’s never the reason
why I did it.”
Mum Danniella has a son Kai, now 17, by ex-boyfriend Robert Fernandez. In the
past she confessed to being so addicted to cocaine that she snorted a line
in the delivery room while she was giving birth to him.
She revealed how she and cage fighter Tom have been arguing since she
miscarried their baby in June.
She said: “We have been on and off for a while since the miscarriage. Tom took
it very differently to me. He is very emotional.
“It really upset him and my daughter, Jody, because they were super-excited.
That was the hardest thing for me.”
She is now praying she and Welshman Tom, 24, can mend their relationship and
work through their problems.
The couple met in a nightclub six weeks after she split from Kevin in January
and got engaged in April after a whirlwind two-month romance.
But only last week police were called to their home in Rochester, Kent. Tom
was held for an alleged breach of the peace after concerned neighbours
dialled 999.
He was accused of smashing up the property and is said to have been kept in a
cell overnight before being released without charge.
Danniella said the couple had been rowing about various issues — including
money.
But she insisted: “Tom isn’t like most 24-year-olds. He is a good guy. He has
seen a lot in his life.
“I’m very lucky to have him. We’ll spend the next few weeks talking it out and
working it through.
“He actually does want to help me. He has proved everyone wrong because he is
actually still here.
“We have been arguing, but all couples argue, don’t they?”
Danniella insisted she did not turn to drugs to blot out the pain of losing
her baby and did not use any drugs while she was pregnant.
But she admitted she has been struggling to cope since her marriage to
millionaire businessman Kevin ended in January.
She said: “It’s not been the same since then, at all.
“I’m not going to try and make myself look good, that’s not why I did it. It
wasn’t because of the miscarriage.
“Tom didn’t give me an ultimatum. I’ve had a crazy time since January.
“I’ve been told what to do for 15 years, so I’m more like, ‘I’m not listening
to you. I’m not listening to anybody.’
“I was on a self destruct mode. I hope there is a future, I really do.
“Me and Tom haven’t spoken about it that much. We have skirted around the
issue a few times.
“People say, ‘What is he doing with her? What is she doing with him?’ But the
fact that Tom is actually here for me now says a lot about him, to me.
“It’s been like a mid-life crisis. When I split up from my husband in January
I started drinking a lot more. I was going out a lot. I was so fricking
lonely.
“I’m 40, I shouldn’t be going out, but I’d been married for 15 years and I was
going out every two weeks if the kids weren’t home.
“As long as the kids weren’t at home I’d go out and do what I wanted.”
Danniella revealed she is no longer in contact with Kevin — the father of her
daughter Jody B, 12, and the man once credited for helping her through her
darkest days of addiction.
She said: “I don’t speak to Kevin now. He has a separate relationship with
Jody.
“They Skype, FaceTime and make their own arrangements to see each other.”
She’s risking very serious depression
By CAROL COOPER, Sun Doctor
COCAINE can pose a worse physical risk to Danniella now than when she took it
12 years ago.
The drug gives a very rapid high — and that is what makes it so addictive.
Coming down can mean a real crash, often with serious depression.
No wonder there is the temptation to take another hit… and another.
Users say the high makes them feel great. But some become irritable, restless
and even paranoid.
The drug also makes blood vessels narrow, which explains many of its dangers —
snorting coke is known to damage arteries and cartilage in the nose.
In heavy users the nose can be destroyed leaving one large mono-nostril as it
did in Danniella’s case.
Cocaine raises blood pressure and overstimulates the heart, causing an
irregular heartbeat that can be fatal.
Because the drug makes blood vessels narrow, parts of the brain can become
starved of oxygen leading to seizures or strokes.
Enormous damage to the children
By DEIDRE SANDERS, Sun Agony Aunt
THE one positive aspect of this sad story is that Danniella is now facing her
demons and admitting to her addictions.
For those without an addictive personality and with a stable background, it
can seem mystifying that anyone would so wantonly destroy their life and,
above all, their family’s and children’s happiness.
As Danniella has discovered to her and her family’s cost, she cannot afford to
relax her vigilance.
For when a parent abuses mind-altering substances, be it drugs or alcohol,
they are effectively abusing their children.
It causes enormous emotional damage to children to have a parent who is
effectively unavailable to them and who risks making senseless and maybe
dangerous decisions. Her children Kai and Jody will be deeply hurt and
anxious.
At least Danniella is now going to seek help. Adfam offers support to families
affected by alcohol and drugs at